Journal: Hiding in the Broom Closet from Family

Editor’s Note: I’ve gone back and forth on how deeply I want to dive on this as it involves another family member. While I have gone to great lengths to keep this (online and real life) part of myself quarantined from my family, there is always the possibility that they somehow stumble upon this blog. If they ever read this, to them I would say: I believed you were genuine when you said you wanted to build a relationship and so was I. If you have gotten past these issues enumerated below (or would like help in doing so), I am open to continuing forward.

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A few years ago, my father reconnected with a woman he had known overseas and quite quickly married her. There’s a lot of history between this woman and my father, my father and her husband, and my father and my mother. Like my mother, I had no idea about most of it. I’m not sure she even knew all of it before she died as my father had only spilled the beans during their first separation (which happened six months after my mother’s passing). This post is not about my father’s marriage to my mother and their subsequent divorce just as it’s not about the shenanigans he and my (now) stepmother participated in before my mother came along or their eventual surprise reunification and marriage. My mother had remarried (and divorced) in the intervening years so I had already dealt with a stepparent/family situation before. Again, that dynamic isn’t a factor here.

This entry is purely about my stepmother and how she has impacted my journey as a Baby Witch.

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This first time I met my stepmother was the Thanksgiving before my mother died. I had no idea what to expect as my father was very stingy with information about her. All I knew was that she was Puerto Rican, had worked overseas at the air force base where he was stationed, and the love they felt then was just as intense as they felt it now nearly forty years later. He was the happiest I had ever known him to be in my life. Seriously.

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Friends and Family

Had a really good couple of days. Hung out with some mates, played video games, and laughed for hours.

Resurrected my car photography account. I would like to eventually link it here, but I’m not certain that’s a good idea right now. See below.

Some excellent news on the family side of things. I got caught cleaning egg shells for Cascarilla powder by a relative. Wound up tripping and falling out of the broom closet. She was very encouraging and asked if she could learn with me.

I very gently reminded her that not everyone is accepting of a path like mine. She reiterated her support and seemed to understand the reference to my father and stepmum.

I’ve spent quite a bit of time the last few days picking up where I left off in terms of researching deity and different pantheons. It’s a really nice way to build trust in your intuition. Just kinda clicked through wiki and flipped through different bios reading, learning, seeing who resonates. Probably going to take the rest of the week before looking to see if there’s any major concentration, which could direct me to a particular tradition.

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Tres Amigos

I’m such a sucker for packaging. Picked up some vodka today to make some Florida Water and stumbled across this trio.

Going to tweak the recipe: red for love intentions, white for cleansing, and the blue I might do for inner work.

I saw Dan Aykroyd’s Crystal Head also had this beautiful large skull with an Aurora Borealis finish that is filled with a vodka made different from the original CHV. But I couldn’t justify shelling out 70 dollars for it right now. Maybe closer to my birthday.

I’m not a vodka drinker and bought this purely for magick work. However, it is supposed to be rather tasty. To make room for the oils and herbs, I’m gonna need to drain some off anyway ๐Ÿ‘€ and I do have some fresh Cara Cara orange juice in the fridge.

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Bookshelf Update: Witchy Books #1

Things came together early and I was able to get some of the books on my Amazon Wishlist for my spiritual studies!

The first book on my reading list is The Spiral Dance by Starhawk and then Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner by Scott Cunningham. Wicca is not my first choice as a belief system. There are some core aspects to it (and how it came to be) that Iโ€™m not really keen on. However, I havenโ€™t read extensively on it and I want to be as informed as possible. I’m also still looking for a really good primer on all the varieties of paganism and polytheism.

I find myself drawn to the Egyptian pantheon and the history of Egypt in general. Thatโ€™s another area Iโ€™m exploring and discovering. There are some other traditions Iโ€™ve grown up around/adjacent to that speak to me and I want to learn more about them. While I did get a book on Yoruban religions, finding a 101 book focused specifically on Santeria is next on my to-do list.

Do I have to pick a religion or belief system in order to grow spiritually and be connected? No. But I was alienated for so long by the Catholic Church that I truly miss community worship and practise.

I’m a big fan of The Serpent Cast and I canโ€™t wait to read Women Who Run with the Wolves by Dr. Clarissa Estes, which has been recommended a few times on their podcast.

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