Valentine’s Day 2019 Reading

Was it any surprise that I was going to do a Valentine’s Day reading with The Lovers Path Tarot? It’s such a beautiful deck. And full of wisdom! I keep it in this embroidered burgundy and gold drawstring bag that matches the palette of the deck’s artwork. I had been looking around a bit for a cloth to do readings on for it and happened across this gorgeous vintage Oscar de la Renta scarf with all the reds, pinks, and purples a person could want. My heart!

Six of Arrows and Fortune: Danae & Zeus, The Lovers Path tarot deck.

I have this relative that I’ve mentioned previously, the fire sign. She’s a maternal figure of sorts. She’s my mother’s sister. We have a very complicated relationship and it’s something I’ve really been working to improve. Earlier today, I was trying to help her with something. Unfortunately, it was beyond my ability and she’d have to find someone else to get it sorted. I came back to my desk to do my Valentine’s Day reading and she was sorta floating in and out of my head a bit whilst I was trying to get centered. It wasn’t enough to get me to stop shuffling, so I just went with it. Up come the Six of Swords and the Wheel of Fortune cards.

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Impromptu Relationship Reading 24 Jan 2019

This reading actually came out as I was shuffling to clean my cards after finishing up the reading I originally sat down to do. The first out were the King of Cups, Ace of Swords reversed, and King of Pentacles. Oh boy.

I asked for clarity on both Kings. To be fair, I was 90% certain who the Cups was though I do have a couple of Pisces in my life. But the Earth Sign could be so many different people. That’s always been an interesting thing: I draw in (or am attracted to?) a lot of Earth Energy from friends to lovers. Big surprise the Scorpio comes up with the Death Card. I so love Nakisha’s Rabbit Tarot for many reasons, but especially this card. Not going to lie, I had a bit of heartache seeing it and the Eight of Cups together. Sigh. I hear you.

When it comes to readings about love and relationships, I look at tarot reversals with cups as an emptying out of emotions — the person can’t be in denial or keep them contained any longer in contrast to say the Ace of Cups which is positive and jubilant and overflowing happily. In a situation like this where it clearly is in reference to a particular person or energy, I look at this and see an Earth sign with either heavy water placements or presenting as if they are very watery, which may be temporary and only in this situation. I have an ex who is a Taurus Sun with a Scorpio Moon and he is notorious for bottling up his emotions and turning them inward. Could it be him? I wouldn’t be surprised.

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Swimming with a Scorpio

Got into a rather serious row with my Scorpio friend earlier tonight. I took it personal and he followed in kind. We wound up talking it out almost right after it went down.

Though he was right about what we were arguing over, I brought something into it that while related — didn’t have anything to do with what happened.

A couple months ago we had that big row and I got what I thought would be the closest I’d ever get to an apology for what was said from him. Well, he apologized for all of it tonight.

I was floored. That’s a big deal. The things he said just… I love his heart so much.

The weapon we used to hurt each other earlier was the same: how people perceive us. It was so analogous to how people also perceive Scorpio — that hard shell, the pinchers, the poisoned tail. Not very cuddly on the outside. But man, there are so many instances when I just want to hug him when I see his tenderness hiding away in there. His heart is deep. Not just buried under the armour, but deep in its own capacity.

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Real Tits Float, Right?

So, this happened: Six of Swords, then both Nine of Swords and King of Pentacles reversed.

And then this happened: The Tower, the Sun, and the Lovers cards make an appearance.

That water sign business at the bottom there, oh boy. Thank God I have a pair of personal flotation devices built in.

I arranged the cards the way I did to highlight the imagery I see, e.g. the change in the couple falling out of the tower to their state in the lovers card, the journey and humbling of the water sign at the bottom.

As an aside, I’m not entirely sold that that King of Pentacles up there is my Taurean ex. I often associate him with the Knight/King. That’s the obvious answer. Moving on from the situation fully, out come the swords, his title/influence in my life taken away. This may be speaking more to a state of mind I’ve been battling, which also relates to Mr. Taurus.

2019 is going to be interesting. I may post the rest of this reading later.

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Goddess Exploration, Part II

Felt the pull to break out my Goddess Guidance Oracle Deck to see who I should connect with to navigate through January.

Hawaiian Pele and Celtic Aine goddesses hopped out of a nicely flowing shuffle.

With Tutu Pele, the theme of fire and deeper creation through the surface of destruction mirrors a lot of the wands energy I’ve been getting in Tarot lately. A way for me to survive was going dormant. Now, I need to transition out of that and become passionate again, motivated, creative. There’s a lot inside that has hardened and needs to be cracked so that new and fresh can flow through for growth.

Regarding Aine, my Venus in Cancer loves her connection to water, healing, musicality, emotional expression, sensuality, wealth and abundance, and the moon. Her correspondences are air (Gemini & Aquarius power!), rabbits, and is depicted as a redhead! As gentle and caring as she is, there is also a ferocity present. Justice is a theme I get from reading about her. The bit about the rabbits really touched my heart for personal reasons.

I can be nurturing without putting myself in an unbalanced and unhealthy situation. I can harness the power of these gifts to both create and connect to ultimately gain my independence.

Vesta decided to come through on an ending shuffle and is more of an affirmation of the changes materialising within my family unit. I’m seeing great positive progress in certain areas. For that, I’m very grateful.

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Fire! Energy! Fire Energy! That’s Also a Lot of Swords

I did a tarot reading for myself last night. Spent about half an hour beforehand expressing my gratitude for my abilities, my experiences, life lessons, the people I’ve met in my life, the people I’ve loved.

The question I asked was: What do I need to do to elevate my vibration to enhance my manifestation and attract what has been set aside for me?

1st row: Sun card reversed, The World reversed, Seven of Pentacles reversed, and The Magician. Life isn’t going to be the best it can be if I don’t put in the work. Seven of Pentacles, to me, is starting the process and laying the ground work. That’s arguably the hardest step. Moving forward through the suit, Eight of Pentacles represents hitting your stride and doing the damn thing. Nine of Pentacles symbolizes all of it paying off and the upgrades and accolades coming in. You’re feeling yourself. You know you got this. Ten of Pentacles is the ultimate in the manifestation cycle, fruits of all the work, living your best life. It’s all materializing. Be the Magician. Bring those ideas down to earth. Be that conduit. Work your magic. Get your ass in gear.

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Project: Book of Shadows, The Cast

Project Book of Shadows will start tomorrow!

It’s a 4in D-ring binder. As romantic a notion it is to have a hand bound grimoire or the like, I have to have everything easily organized. Dividers, alphabetical, chronological, expandable – much easier to do with a binder.

Foam padding will go on the outside in order for the glow in the dark skeleton fabric covering it to sit flush around the buckles. For added security, a pair of glow in the dark paracord bands will keep the binder shut and help once it gets packed full of pages.

The little skull beads are made of Howlite as it turns out. I didn’t know Gemini was the zodiac correspondence until earlier today. Rather fitting along with being a stone that provides protection and a sense of calmness and clarity.


Howlite is a potent guardian stone.  Use it to protect that which you value – both physical possessions and spiritual values.  

They are also useful for travelers and adventures to take with them on their travels as insurance against harm.

Howlite, Crystal Vaults.

Death has proven to be a rather frequent visitor in my life. Maybe that’s why I am drawn to and comforted by images of skulls, calaveras, and skeletons. I know I can always speak to and consult with loved ones who have passed, but the Day of the Dead is the holiday I treasure the most. For obvious reasons.


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Carrots or Cups

The Rabbit Tarot by Nakisha van der Hoeven is a very special and treasured tarot deck in my collection. I feel super close to my mum when I use it. Today, I sat down for a break from moving furniture, cleaning, and decorating and decided to have a little chat of sorts.

The Devil card reversed and The Hanged Man: I’ve made some massive decisions starting back in October about my spirituality, religious practices, sexuality, and other things. It’s been so freeing. I can’t explain the relief and happiness that has swept through my life. But, I’m now in new territory. Feeling along, searching, learning as I go. So yes, I do feel a bit “hung up” at times as I look to the different directions that I could go in.

The World card and Six of Cups: I asked my mum if she had any advice for me and boom. Here she is.

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Pull Up

Today was a hard day. I had been so motivated and making progress financially. And today, the behaviour of certain family members was too much. I have been steady getting tired of the dynamic, but avoided confrontation. Trying to keep my head down and stay focused. But an hour ago, I just started crying. Their behaviour hurts me. Their lack of consideration of and respect for me hurts me. A lot. I feel taken advantage of and manipulated. It. Hurts.

Now, I’m sitting here ugly crying and shuffling speaking aloud what I’m grateful for. All my plans and goals. First card I feel and see is Ten of Swords. Yea.

More shuffling. Nothing is coming out. By now, the crying has stopped and I look at the bottom of the deck and it’s The Lovers. I’m a Gemini.

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Journal: Friendships

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Life is funny. I had (have, up until five minutes ago) two people in my life that I considered to be my closest friends. Both of them I had dated at one point in our lives and both decided to be friends after the breakups.

Mr. Taurus was the one I had dated off and on since our teen years and the one I had hoped would eventually get his shit together.  Mr. Scorpio was someone I just happened to meet and it was unexpected and amazing, but a romantic relationship wasn’t sustainable between us at that point. Very different personalities, but with some interesting similarities. An example? Both played baseball in school. Both no longer can. One refuses to look at, talk about, or watch baseball. Any time I bring it up, he gets mad and won’t talk to me. The other loves baseball and any discussion about it. The sport is actually one of the things that we share and enjoy quite a bit in our friendship. Care to guess which is which?

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Acceptance is Not Consent

I was reading the awesome horoscopes on The Hoodwitch by Jessica Lanyadoo and this statement under Aquarius (my rising sign) resonated strongly:

Acceptance is not consent, it’s awareness.

Jessica Lanyadoo

If you are unfamiliar, definitely check out both sites linked above and also The Hoodwitch IG and Jessica’s IG. Really great resources full of knowledge that also broadens cross-cultural awareness. And it’s always great to come across people who very clearly love what they do.

Journal: Salt Life

Feel the breeze. Smell the salt. Release the pain.

Sometimes, the quickest and easiest way for me to recharge is to hop in the car, roll down the windows, and head to the beach.

I’ve never lived especially inland. However, there have been a few times in my life when I have moved to places where I may be near water, but I can’t see it or smell it. On the Gulf Coast, you can wind up in a rural area that feels very isolated and inland, but the Gulf of Mexico is a mile to the west. The air, the movement still helps me to feel better, especially if I have my favourite music playing. Still, it’s not quite the same.

Seeing the beach, the waves, smelling the salt, is probably one of the most powerful forms of passive rejuvenation that I’ve discovered. I say passive to mean that I don’t have to sit and actively focus on clearing my mind, doing an inventory, constantly trying to bring my thoughts under control. It just happens when I go along those coastal drives. Even when it’s super hot, the movement, vision, aromas of Salt Life washes over me and is so cleansing.

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Mars Retrograde

My natal Mars (not retrograde) is in Capricorn same as my moon. This full moon in Capricorn and Retrograde in Aquarius (my ascendant) really hit me. 

The fatigue started Thursday afternoon. I call it that because at the time, that’s what it felt like. I didn’t sleep well the night before and I initially thought I was getting run down. But then I started to really listen to my body. I was sighing a lot. My muscles and actual physical self didn’t feel tired. I focused in and instead realized that I was tired — exhausted even.

Gemini season was rough. My natural instincts were to kinda be quiet and stay to myself. Every now and again I’d pop up and hang with some friends for some laughs. That was a double edged sword until I started being smarter about it. But I mostly tried to focus on writing and working on self.

Going into Cancer season (my Venus is in Cancer and figures very strongly in areas where I’ve needed to work on), I was trepidatious. There’s still a large part of my personality that doesn’t want to talk/experience my emotions. I remember doing a few big birthday readings and during one of them I had this light bulb moment.

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