Swimming with a Scorpio

Got into a rather serious row with my Scorpio friend earlier tonight. I took it personal and he followed in kind. We wound up talking it out almost right after it went down.

Though he was right about what we were arguing over, I brought something into it that while related — didn’t have anything to do with what happened.

A couple months ago we had that big row and I got what I thought would be the closest I’d ever get to an apology for what was said from him. Well, he apologized for all of it tonight.

I was floored. That’s a big deal. The things he said justโ€ฆ I love his heart so much.

The weapon we used to hurt each other earlier was the same: how people perceive us. It was so analogous to how people also perceive Scorpio — that hard shell, the pinchers, the poisoned tail. Not very cuddly on the outside. But man, there are so many instances when I just want to hug him when I see his tenderness hiding away in there. His heart is deep. Not just buried under the armour, but deep in its own capacity.

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Friends and Family

Had a really good couple of days. Hung out with some mates, played video games, and laughed for hours.

Resurrected my car photography account. I would like to eventually link it here, but I’m not certain that’s a good idea right now. See below.

Some excellent news on the family side of things. I got caught cleaning egg shells for Cascarilla powder by a relative. Wound up tripping and falling out of the broom closet. She was very encouraging and asked if she could learn with me.

I very gently reminded her that not everyone is accepting of a path like mine. She reiterated her support and seemed to understand the reference to my father and stepmum.

I’ve spent quite a bit of time the last few days picking up where I left off in terms of researching deity and different pantheons. It’s a really nice way to build trust in your intuition. Just kinda clicked through wiki and flipped through different bios reading, learning, seeing who resonates. Probably going to take the rest of the week before looking to see if there’s any major concentration, which could direct me to a particular tradition.

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Journal: Friendships

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Life is funny. I had (have, up until five minutes ago) two people in my life that I considered to be my closest friends. Both of them I had dated at one point in our lives and both decided to be friends after the breakups.

Mr. Taurus was the one I had dated off and on since our teen years and the one I had hoped would eventually get his shit together.  Mr. Scorpio was someone I just happened to meet and it was unexpected and amazing, but a romantic relationship wasnโ€™t sustainable between us at that point. Very different personalities, but with some interesting similarities. An example? Both played baseball in school. Both no longer can. One refuses to look at, talk about, or watch baseball. Any time I bring it up, he gets mad and wonโ€™t talk to me. The other loves baseball and any discussion about it. The sport is actually one of the things that we share and enjoy quite a bit in our friendship. Care to guess which is which?

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Follow Up Spread to Big Changes Post.

This spread was done to investigate the sadness and down energy I had been experiencing earlier today.

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I had the Tower Moment as I was dictating my notes on the cards. I cried. A lot. Sigh. Well, truthfully, I started crying when the Strength card fell out. Itโ€™s not that I consciously feel weak, but rather itโ€™s nice to see/hear that I can โ€œdo thisโ€.

Everything here are concepts I am very familiar with for this particular dynamic. It is both reinforcement and encouragement. I need to refocus. If Iโ€™m gonna be successful in manifesting I must unblock my energy and let the creativity flow. I gotta let go of what isnโ€™t, move forward toward what will be, and transform.

Bottom of the deck: Eight of Cups. Damn.

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