Felt the pull to break out my Goddess Guidance Oracle Deck to see who I should connect with to navigate through January.
Hawaiian Pele and Celtic Aine goddesses hopped out of a nicely flowing shuffle.
With Tutu Pele, the theme of fire and deeper creation through the surface of destruction mirrors a lot of the wands energy I’ve been getting in Tarot lately. A way for me to survive was going dormant. Now, I need to transition out of that and become passionate again, motivated, creative. There’s a lot inside that has hardened and needs to be cracked so that new and fresh can flow through for growth.
Regarding Aine, my Venus in Cancer loves her connection to water, healing, musicality, emotional expression, sensuality, wealth and abundance, and the moon. Her correspondences are air (Gemini & Aquarius power!), rabbits, and is depicted as a redhead! As gentle and caring as she is, there is also a ferocity present. Justice is a theme I get from reading about her. The bit about the rabbits really touched my heart for personal reasons.
I can be nurturing without putting myself in an unbalanced and unhealthy situation. I can harness the power of these gifts to both create and connect to ultimately gain my independence.
Vesta decided to come through on an ending shuffle and is more of an affirmation of the changes materialising within my family unit. I’m seeing great positive progress in certain areas. For that, I’m very grateful.
Things came together early and I was able to get some of the books on my Amazon Wishlist for my spiritual studies!
The first book on my reading list is The Spiral Dance by Starhawk and then Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner by Scott Cunningham. Wicca is not my first choice as a belief system. There are some core aspects to it (and how it came to be) that I’m not really keen on. However, I haven’t read extensively on it and I want to be as informed as possible. I’m also still looking for a really good primer on all the varieties of paganism and polytheism.
I find myself drawn to the Egyptian pantheon and the history of Egypt in general. That’s another area I’m exploring and discovering. There are some other traditions I’ve grown up around/adjacent to that speak to me and I want to learn more about them. While I did get a book on Yoruban religions, finding a 101 book focused specifically on Santeria is next on my to-do list.
Do I have to pick a religion or belief system in order to grow spiritually and be connected? No. But I was alienated for so long by the Catholic Church that I truly miss community worship and practise.
I’m a big fan of The Serpent Cast and I can’t wait to read Women Who Run with the Wolves by Dr. Clarissa Estes, which has been recommended a few times on their podcast.
I did a tarot reading for myself last night. Spent about half an hour beforehand expressing my gratitude for my abilities, my experiences, life lessons, the people I’ve met in my life, the people I’ve loved.
The question I asked was: What do I need to do to elevate my vibration to enhance my manifestation and attract what has been set aside for me?
1st row: Sun card reversed, The World reversed, Seven of Pentacles reversed, and The Magician. Life isn’t going to be the best it can be if I don’t put in the work. Seven of Pentacles, to me, is starting the process and laying the ground work. That’s arguably the hardest step. Moving forward through the suit, Eight of Pentacles represents hitting your stride and doing the damn thing. Nine of Pentacles symbolizes all of it paying off and the upgrades and accolades coming in. You’re feeling yourself. You know you got this. Ten of Pentacles is the ultimate in the manifestation cycle, fruits of all the work, living your best life. It’s all materializing. Be the Magician. Bring those ideas down to earth. Be that conduit. Work your magic. Get your ass in gear.
Aiming to finish the cover on my Book of Shadows today! So excited. This is a big change for me and a celebration. Since I’m going with a binder format, making it my own is the best way to put my energy into it.
The padding feels great with three foam layers and sits even with the buckles on the back. No wobbles at all! The paracord corkscrew pattern turned out wicked with the black and white glow in the dark cords for the security bands. It’s a perfect match to the skeleton fabric. The place holder is a strand of glow in the dark beads as well. It all glows an amazing green shade.
For the inside covers, I might put cork board for reminders or perhaps something else. Still deciding on that part.
I can’t help but wonder if I wouldn’t have sought recognition and validation from others if my family had respected me enough to acknowledge my contributions and value instead of reducing me to “some kid”.
Every time you throw at your child, “What could you possibly know about xxxx?” or “You’re a child, you haven’t experienced anything yet.” or “You’re xx age, your life is easy.” – all you’re doing is driving them away by invalidating, minimizing, and rebuking their thoughts, feelings, emotions, and identity.
If the only answer you can or want to give your child is “because I said so” during a teachable moment, you need to re-evaluate your strategy as a parent. Teach your children logic. It will guide and protect them when you aren’t around.
For those parents who are going to spit at me about how I don’t have children and/or it’s impossible to reason with kids – I’ve dealt with enough children caught in the war of divorce and dependency cases to confidently say that they are more aware and intelligent than most adults would dare acknowledge.
Your children are going to out live you. Arm them today with the skill they will need after you’re gone.
It’s a 4in D-ring binder. As romantic a notion it is to have a hand bound grimoire or the like, I have to have everything easily organized. Dividers, alphabetical, chronological, expandable – much easier to do with a binder.
Foam padding will go on the outside in order for the glow in the dark skeleton fabric covering it to sit flush around the buckles. For added security, a pair of glow in the dark paracord bands will keep the binder shut and help once it gets packed full of pages.
The little skull beads are made of Howlite as it turns out. I didn’t know Gemini was the zodiac correspondence until earlier today. Rather fitting along with being a stone that provides protection and a sense of calmness and clarity.
Howlite is a potent guardian stone. Use it to protect that which you value – both physical possessions and spiritual values.
They are also useful for travelers and adventures to take with them on their travels as insurance against harm.
Death has proven to be a rather frequent visitor in my life. Maybe that’s why I am drawn to and comforted by images of skulls, calaveras, and skeletons. I know I can always speak to and consult with loved ones who have passed, but the Day of the Dead is the holiday I treasure the most. For obvious reasons.
The chair arrived and has been assembled! It is so comfortable and can be adjusted to the perfect height for the desk. So very happy. It’s super plush and was very easy to put together. Yay Office Depot! It’s taken a couple days for the odor on the bookcase to dissipate. Or, at least I hope it has versus me having simply gotten used to it. I’m gonna wipe it down with some lemon scented Pledge later.
The past week I’ve really wanted to write and yesterday was the first chance I got to really sit down to do it. The night before I read through some old stories and found a series of three that I wanted to revisit, rewrite, refresh. A lot of the stories with “couples” in them are based of my past situations with guys. This series in particular was with an Aquarius and we shared a very peculiar attraction. It was worth writing about then. But it’s interesting to read back through how I wrote the female character (a version of me, I guess). The writing is solid, but the character’s personality traits are just so… It’s just hard for me to imagine that I used to operate like that within a courtship. A positive spin on it: I can see that I’ve grown a lot.
It’s cold AF here today. I’m going to go for a drive, take some photos, and do my errands. Absolutely beautiful out there. Plus, I’ve noticed that when I get down or discouraged, listening to podcasts (catching up on The Serpent Cast and Betwixt & Between, right now) helps to lift my mood and get me back on track. Yes, I’m a solitary. But, I really and truly am in every sense of the word. I can’t share this with my family. There’s no “Guess what I’ve learnt today!” or “I want to share this with you!”. None of that. Best case scenario one relative might be totally apathetic to what is a joyful period of personal growth in my life while the others would be… I don’t want to think about that. I’ll eventually address that in another entry when I tackle it.
Probably going to do some Tarot tonight after dinner. There are a few notebooks I need to finish setting up. Trying to decide if I want to put my custom tarot spreads in a book of their own with my meditations and journaling or put it in a tarot section of my BoS. I do a lot of work with tarot. That could wind up being a major section all on its own. Probably best to put it in its own notebook.
I called the delivery company and the office chair I ordered to arrive last Monday will be here tomorrow. Mercury Retrograde for you. One of the biggest hindrances in getting research, writing, and organisation done is that the chair I’ve borrowed from the living room is super uncomfortable. On one hand, it’s probably healthy for me to get up out of it and walk around every thirty minutes or so. But when I have to sit in it for extended periods of time, it leaves me sore and with deep muscle discomfort or cramps. Really, really hoping that chair is going to get here tomorrow.
On a happier note, I cleaned out one side of my bedroom so that I can get some additional bookcases sorted. Whilst shopping around for storage solutions, I spotted these really cool display shelves that are about the size of the boxes my tarot and oracle decks came in. The plan is to put the boxes on the display shelves and then hang the bag with the deck in it underneath. With five decks total, I’ll need three packages of the shelves. They’re $20 a piece, so I’m gonna shop around and check out some DIY alternatives.
The Rabbit Tarot by Nakisha van der Hoeven is a very special and treasured tarot deck in my collection. I feel super close to my mum when I use it. Today, I sat down for a break from moving furniture, cleaning, and decorating and decided to have a little chat of sorts.
The Devil card reversed and The Hanged Man: I’ve made some massive decisions starting back in October about my spirituality, religious practices, sexuality, and other things. It’s been so freeing. I can’t explain the relief and happiness that has swept through my life. But, I’m now in new territory. Feeling along, searching, learning as I go. So yes, I do feel a bit “hung up” at times as I look to the different directions that I could go in.
The World card and Six of Cups: I asked my mum if she had any advice for me and boom. Here she is.
My first oracle deck arrived. I picked the Goddess Guidance deck by Doreen Virtue.
Really beautiful set. The artwork is captivating. But I feel like some of the Goddesses could’ve had their respective ethnicities depicted more accurately. With Goddesses selected from cultures where colourism is (sadly) alive and well, I guess I expected more in the way of being sensitive and aware of that issue.
The cards are thick, but not too thick. Gilded. I did have to go through with the rather nice guidebook and double check that I had separated out all the cards that were stuck together.
Here is a breakdown of the different systems represented: Buddhist (1), Buddhist/Hindu/Shakti (2), Hindu (3), Celtic (13), Christian (2), Dahomean (1), Egyptian (5), Germanic (1), Gnostic (1), Greek (4), Hawaiian (1), Inuit (1), Mayan (1), Meso/Sumerian (1), Native American (1), Norse (1), Roman (3), Welsh (1), Yoruban (1).
Plenty of faces new to me to study. I support projects like these (cross cultural/beliefs) as it helps broaden a person’s knowledge and respect of others. I would love to see an expanded version that’s even more diverse.
Today was an angry day. I didn’t realise it until I let myself get pulled into my feelings with a stranger over somebody else’s business. Then I saw how angry I was and that that anger was sourced in several different issues.
I went to a relative with whom I’m trying to repair/build a relationship and they kinda confirmed they haven’t changed. Or rather I had an expectation about something and they showed they didn’t share that expectation. I tend to come away from interactions with them feeling like an employee rather than a family member.
We were supposed to go to an event tomorrow together. I am doing her hair, makeup, and costume. This whole week she has dodged getting together to go over things and she just told me she’s going to be busy all day tomorrow and will be available two hours before the event so that I can make her up and dress her.